It's nice to hear the success stories. Maybe this isn't a fluke; maybe it's a natural step towards sobriety!
I'm happy to report that I'm on day eight without any drinks or drugs, and feel better than I have in years! Not only that, but my "it" feeling hasn't left me.
I really do feel at peace with my sobriety this time, and more so as each day passes. Another aspect of my mourning the loss of alcohol that is different this time is that I've almost been feeling the loss of a friend, as opposed to just a thing, that is alcohol.
You know how when someone important in your life passes and you're initially really sad about them never coming around again? And then, in time, you begin to forget about the pain of the loss and remember the fun times, the fights, the bonding moments, and the time you got so upset you could have killed them? That's how I feel. Some of the things I did were humorous and I'm fond of the memories, others were really bad, but I'm not mad about them this time.
My addiction, while overall is unhealthy and needs to end, did give me some really good times. I celebrated my friends and I graduating high school and college, engagements, break-ups (you know, those, "What did he see in her?" break-ups), birthdays, concerts, and sometimes nothing at all. They were good and I'm glad they happened, but I know I can't recreate those nights no matter how drunk I get, and I can't count on these nights like these ever happening again.
I also remember the bad times like the DUI and subsequent two years without a driver's license, the embarrassment of walking into work with a face full of broken capillaries, the agonizing pain that emanated from my organs during and after long binges, and the frustration that come from not being able to control myself. These negative aspects of my addiction are the only things I can count on happening again, and this is why it's time for it to end. It would be nice if these things didn't ever happen, but, again, I'm not mad about it this time. In fact, I almost feel removed from them, like they happened in a different life.
I know I'm not "over" my drinking at this point. The amount of time I have spent thinking about it this past week is testament to that, but my "it" feeling appears to be settling into a sense normalcy quite nicely. I hope it continues, because I haven't felt this peaceful in a long while.
It's kind of emotional writing these things out, therapeutic really. Reading everyone's responses really gives me a push to explore thoughts in places I hadn't considered on my own. Thanks, everyone.