Hi Noone 13, I am so sorry to hear of your struggles right now. I can empathize with the many of the feelings you're having. I had a long-time addiction to painkillers and oxycontin but decided the drugs were both running and ruining my life. I got help through my Dr. and quit.
That was almost 3 years ago and I feel very happy and lucky to be alive every day - and I'm no spring chicken! There are other treatments out there that are non-narcotic. I also found my pain receptors were so screwed up from taking pills that once my system got back to normal, regular old Tylenol worked quite well.
Think of all the things you can do NOT needing that heroin fix as compared to your life revolving around ONLY heroin. When I stopped oxy (c/t but with my Dr's. help) it took awhile to feel well again but now I can travel and go places, do things, have real fun that doesn't require practically living outside my Dr. office and pharmacy!
You can have a better life. Get a Dr. or maybe even a rehab on your side and kick heroin right on over that big high fence. Then run with a smile onto the rest of your life!
Sending hugs and lovin' your way
...Ruby...