Hi everyone.
I don't even know where to start,I feel so hopeless and numb,I don't feel anything anymore.
It all started a year and a half ago,I went through a really hard time and couldn't sleep so I went to the doctor and he prescribed me Xanax.The first time I took it I felt wonderful,I felt like everything was easiear and the whole anxiety I was feeling disappeared.This only lasted for a couple of days,the good feeling disappeared and I started taking more and more just to feel the same thing again.At first I only took it at night time but then I started to take it in the morning and now I spend my whole day taking pills.I take almost 30 pills a day but they don't work anymore.A few months ago I was diagnosed with two chronic diseases and knowing that I would never be normal again and that I would be in pain for the rest of my life made me really depressed.I lost the will to live and just wanted to numb my feelings but unfortunately the pills were not working anymore,instead they were making me even more anxious and depressed.So I decided to get in touch with this "friend" of mine who always has drugs and that was the first time I tried heroin.I felt wonderful all over again but in just a few days I was miserable again.Now my life is even worse,I developed an addiction to heroin.I sold all my stuff,I lost everyone,I feel so miserable...I don't want to be this person but I don't really think I want to recover either.How is my life going to be like without drugs??I'll be in pain for the rest of my life due to my chronic conditions,I'll never be able to do anything,at least while I'm on drugs I feel like I'm fine and that I can do anything,life will be so empty without them...At the same time I look at other people and I wish I was them,I wish I had their lifes,a job,friends,all that stuff but I can't
Drugs are the only thing I have...