Hi Chillgal,
I believe couples should keep their recovery programs seperate. Speaking in a meeting to me means sharing your experience, strength and hope in order to help another addict in their recovery. You are closer to the man than any of the people sitting in the meeting and you see the results of his recovery in your life and home. A persons actions show more than anything how they have changed to close family members.
So I believe you should be confident in your decision whether to go or not.
H