Hi there! I can only guess that this is a truly personal decison. I will tell you that if my husband asked me to listen to him speak at a meeting - I would be there in a heart beat. The reason why is that maybe listening to him and trying to understand why he did what he did and how he is recovering, my be the thing to finally let me be able to 'let go' of all the hurt, anger, resentment. Another thought - is you assume you will not agree with what he has to say and you assume it will be hurtful...you could be completely wrong. It may be just the opposite...he may say by the grace of God he had you for strength and encouragement. I don't know - and again, it is a personal decision and I would not fault you one way or the other. But, to me - this would be a HUGE step in my husbands recovery and I wouldn't miss it for the world. But, then again - I am still in the functioning alcholic stage where I"m lucky if my husband tells me any of his thoughts or feelings, and it just kills me emmotionally. Do you think it would really jeapordize your recovery, or are you afraid it will cause you hurt and pain because you think it's not going to be what you thought? I can certainly understand the fear of hurt and pain - but, think it would be a big step in your recovery. You would be saying "I am strong enough to hear your side"...that doesn't mean that you agree...it just means that you are behind him enough to just listen. If it's that bad - you can always sit at the back and just get up and leave. I think you may be pleasantly surprised... but, again - what do I know?? Good luck and hope you peace with your decision!