ChillGal

Hi all

Just wanted some insight. My husband is recovering A with almost 4 years sobriety. He gets asked to speak quite frequently at meetings and I guess has a powerful speech. I have been to speaker meetings and find most of them to be enlightening. My problem is this. Hubby is looking forward or would like me to "hear" him speak at a meeting. I don't feel I want to and this has hurt him. I feel that if I listen to him speak I will probably not agree with him on a lot. Or maybe my perspective of things may not be the same as his. I am worried that in listening to him it will bring back all the past that I feel I have dealt with. He thinks if I have dealt with it then it shouldn't be a big deal. I feel I have dealt with it but do I want to be reminded about it. I don't want to be sitting in the audience listening to what he did to his family. I feel this will bring my anger and resentments back. I have tried to tell him this but I guess I am not telling it in the right way. He says his speeches are not for others they are for him and his recovery. I say to him if it is your drinking that has made me need recovery why is your recovery more important than mine? If I feel listening to your speech will affect my recovery why should I want to listen to it. He just says Don't then and takes the selfish me attitude. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I know, I don't have to do it if I don't want and all that but I feel that in just not going I am also taking the selfish me attitude. Any thoughts?