(((((December)))))
I understand your frustration and confusion.
Many years ago I felt the same way. My AA sponsor suggested I go volunteer at the local Domestic Violence Center.
Well, I have been a volunteer at several centers over the last 20+ years. My attitude changed dramatically very quickly. I came to understand that the "Battered Wife Syndrome" is very real and very similar to the "Stockholm Syndrome" that 'hostages' come to have, only with the 'Battered Wife Syndrome' (battered wife or girl friend or finance, etc) it has been going on much longer.
They have subconsciously over a longer period of time become convinced that they cannot survive without the person. That they are 'stupid, dumb, cannot make decisions, that their life will be nothing without the person, etc in other words no self worth or self esteem at all.
When these women (girls) hear the same 'mantra' day in and day out, years in and years out, it is almost like brain washing, they come to believe this as fact. It can take months just to get them to agree to some counseling, and years of counseling to get them to see the 'brain washing' that was done to them.
I have been where you are.
I understand that some of the members on here will take umbrage with your thread, however, if they will just look at your pain they will understand and maybe realize that a time or two or more they have become frustrated with a poster on here that does not seem to get the message we are sending as soon as I/we wanted them to.
There have been, and are posters on here, that when I see a new thread started by them I will quickly scan it to see if it is "the same old same old" or if it is actually something new. If new I will post. If it is 'same old nothing has changed' thread I pass it up.
Sometimes I too 'step away' for a while. Just did that for the past 5 days or so. Had to take a breather.
Again (((((December))))) I do understand, maybe too well. lol And, I do understand your pain and why you started this thread. The frustration can become overwhelming. I recently had a whole post removed from a thread by a forum leader because he/she thought one small paragraph was picking on the OP when in fact I was just trying to be encouraging to her with all she has been through. So I had to step away, because if someone thought I was 'picking' on the original poster, by my words, then I needed to regroup and take a second look before I posted on any thread.
Remember we/I love you. We/I can be frustrated, but I believe it actually goes back to the fact that I/we cannot change any other human being, and we/I all get to the "enough is enough" point at different times.
J M H O
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,