Originally Posted by
faithfully 
He is almost 40, he is pretty sick, but sometimes I think he makes himself look sicker to me.
I think you are onto something important, here.
I just wish he would get some help for himself. If I got to take myself out of the picture entirely I will. As for me and my life and what makes me happy, I am not functioning well, even though I've managed to live apart for almost a year. I'm very depressed.
You will be able to afford counselling for yourself, when you decide to stop supporting and enabling him.
Addiction causes him to do whatever it takes to protect and sustain it. Lying and manipulation are the tools of addiction. His crack addition is likely the only thing that will put him into an early grave. It is quite possible to love someone to death.