What Faithfully said. I am a recovering codie. My addict mother trained me well. It was only after going no contact and then working on myself that I fully understand what that means. It was when I decided to get off the Drama Triangle that I found myself.
Now I am living with an addict sister. You know what? I don't care what she uses or what she says. If it does not directly have to do with the household I have been trained now to ignore it.
My mother was in recovery the last year of her life. She died of complications from her Huntington's disease. I most likely have the same disease. Since there is no treatment at this time, I have chosen not to be tested and to treat the symptoms. The treatment is the same whether or not I have been tested.
My sister has tried to play this card on me, I still can ignore her. It took a lot of years for me to get to this point, but it was worth it all when my sister began behaving as if she were using. If not for my mother, I would have most likely have fallen for her crap hook, line and sinker.
What I am getting at is this it was a long journey to get to this point. Every Al-Alon meeting is worth it. I gained so much from them. I also remind myself of the AA principle of "progress not perfection". If I apply this to my codie behavior I am doing something right.