Time heals. You can trust in that in a big way.
More will be revealed, more will be seen with much greater clarity as time goes by...as you continue doing what you are doing, taking care of yourself with love and gentleness, seeing your therapist, going to meetings, processing here, reaching out...
You are going to find peace because you are doing what you need to be doing right now...you can trust in that.
You are just at the crisis like timing of an addictive relationship split right now. It is going to be okay! Just keep breathing...your memories are going to keep sorting themselves out. Find guidance with your therapist and here...but I also HIGHLY recommend grabbing yourself a sponsor ASAP. It is an amazing luxury to sit with another woman for an hour over coffee and have it be all about you!!! You deserve a witness right now, a sponsor will help you keep your self perceptions in good healthy alignment!
You are going to need help doing this. Addictive relationships are laden with blame, guilt, shame and manipulation. Keep reaching out for help in sorting and cleaning up the aftermath mess. Do not be afraid, have faith...clarity will keep happening and you will find great freedom of heart in that clarity.
Peace! XO