mygirliz

My girlfriend's sister went through a separation in her marriage a couple of years ago. Prior to that, she never drank, even socially. Shortly after her separation, she began to drink and tried to hide it. She has lost her job and now her drinking is completely out of control.

Attempts to get her sister to go to rehab are met, pretty much with her ignoring the topic or getting off the phone. She has become so bad that she is non functioning. Her legs and body have atrophied, and it's to the point that she doesn't even have the strength to get around on her own or take a shower. She is literally drunk all day.

My girlfriend is heart broken seeing the deterioration of her sister and feels as though she can somehow change this unfortunate circumstance. It's to the point now that her sister can't even feed herself and she calls my girlfriend nearly everyday asking her to bring her food, which she does, as well as bathes her, washes her sheets for her, etc.

Her sister will be losing her housing soon I imagine, as her unemployment ran out, and I can't imagine her moving in with my girlfriend and her 13 year old son who live by themselves in a non-chaotic household. I don't live with her currently. There are other siblings, but none of which are really reliable and have seemed to detach themselves from the situation, but without saying so...rather, they just kind of ignore what goes on with their alcoholic sister, as i'm sure they understand they cannot make her do anything differently. My girlfriend on the other hand says "i won't turn my back on my sister!" But i try to tell her it's not about "turning her back."

In trying to be sensitive and understanding, I explain to her that there is nothing she can do to make her sister make different choices, after at least a year now of her sister getting progressively worse very quickly, without doing anything differently.

This situation has caused an extreme strain on our love relationship because my she is always stressed about the situation all while trying to live her life, too, and it's hard for me to not get frustrated that she doesn't give our own relationship any time or attention it needs, and it's been going on for the last year now that i feel our relationship is completely on the back-burner.

My girlfriend gets upset, in turn, with me, and says I'm not being supportive of her and the situation and that I don't understand. She's right ... I don't understand, but I feel the one thing I do understand is that she can't allow her sister's continued choices and subsequent consequences take over her life and ruin other good relationships in her life.

It's just hard to see my girlfriend let her sisters life take over her life and now our relationship the way it has...I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to stay around and be supportive, and i am in love with her, but the strain it has put on our relationship, i don't know what to do, or, how to do it.