Personally, I like to think of the meltdown as a spiritual awakening. The point where I realized that the person who could solve the problem wasn't "him" ...... it was "me".
Luckily the meetings that I attend (AlAnon and NarAnon) aren't focused on the crap the A's have put us through. Instead the focus is on "us" and our own behavior, reactions, successes, difficulties, breakthroughs, "aha" moments, coping strategies, etc. Like an addict, I don't believe that my Codependency is curable....but it is manageable. I may attend these meetings for the rest of my life but it isn't because I want to rehash my past or rank on the A's in my life. It will be to keep my codependence under control and to give back to others who are facing their own early recovery.
Your "meltdown" was an important step toward your own recovery.
gentle hugs
ke