InsertNameHere

I know that i am the same way, I freak out because I assume the worst is going to happen it usually doesn't and I know that but I really do expect the worst. I don't know how this is going to work out, I am going to try to fix it, and there is a person that is "assigned" to help me so that should be handy. If I can just get a grip on my procrastination, and fear of asking for help that would go a long way for me but I haven't yet been able to do that. I also hate being in a new situation, I like the familiar and this duty has thrown me for a loop. Breath in Breath out. I just need to get some stuff done that I should have done a long time ago, but have been putting off because I don't want to face my own ignorance. I have started to think that coming onto my current job was the biggiest mistake I have made in a long time. how much of this anxiety is because of no alcohol I don't know it could be that without its normal copeing mechanism my brain is just going haywire I don't know but man i am fearfull today. I think it is just that I don't operate well in the independent enviroment in which I find myself. I am used to having someone present and physcial to answer to and I need that. not random people 1000 miles away that I have never even meet before. its just a matter of days till my replacment gets here I know that and I can't wait. He is a good guy it seems though he probably won't be happy with me and the mess I am handing off to him, oh well he will tell me what to do and I will do it. I need that guidance I think.

Oh yeah and thanks Dee for that explination, we don't have that one in the states that I am aware of anyway.

And Yes stillsleeping I was thinking about it earlier and if nothing else this situation it not shaking but solidifying my comitment to stay sober. It proves all the more to me that were I drinking I know this would be worse at least in my head it would be. The only problem is that it now removes my convienient excuse I am no longer bad at my job because I am a drunk, I am bad at my job because I am a incompitent. I am not sure which is better in the eyes of an employer but I am sure that at least now I am aware of it and can work on it now that I am not able to blame my drinking.