Ditto, It hurts and it's been a month tomorrow that I left/kicked my ABF out of the house. It's been 4 years together. I have known him almost 30 but we Lived in different states with different lives for all but the last 4 years. My EXABF is a great guy but he doesn't function. God knows he tries so hard but either lack of desire or strength he can't stay sober for more than 30 days. He is 40 and each time.....I thought.....this is it! He's got it, he will get it.....nope! Heart breaking and progressive. I ask, no way this could get worse. It did and does. I had to do the tough love. I have to find away to love myself enough to worry about my needs. I want him in my life but no contact for us....now or the last month. I am not holding my breath this time, I just know I can't and will not pick up the pieces and go down with him. It's hard, many things I miss about the person I wished he was or could be. Try to move forward for yourself.