My ABF and I have known each other for over 20 years, dated for the last two. He truly is my best friend and the love of my life. He says the same about me. But lately, after a stint in rehab and falling off the wagon, he says "you should move on, forget about me." He says he's a trainwreck, and I deserve better.
While I know that he is the best man in the world, I also know that his alcoholism and depression are influencing what he says to me.
For the record, he's never been an angry, mean, or abusive drunk. Just someone who drinks his troubles away.
We sort of split up six months ago, but have been in regular contact. A few weeks ago, he said he still had hope that things would work out between us. But now, he's telling me he's a lost cause and that I should find other men.
Problem is: I don't want to. I love him, and he is my best friend. (And I have a lot of amazing friends, so that is no small compliment). He says the same about me.
I am wondering if anyone else has been in this position, and would love to hear any words of advice/experience/etc. I know that, for the most part, a relationship with an alcoholic is, by default, dysfunctional, but I really do love the man. I hear stories of folks who stuck it out with their partners and lived happily ever after. (Though I know there are lots and lots more that didn't work out that way.)
Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
cc
