Simplyfab - I'm so glad to see you back. Coming here & pouring your heart out is so difficult, but so important for you. I did exactly what you did many times. Even had an officer say to me, "You're very lucid for a person with a bac of .32. Most people would be on the floor." My tolerance was huge. I was once proud of that. Then I realized, if I could drink all day & still be functioning, something was terribly wrong.
After years of abusing myself I was facing death if I didn't stop. I wanted to salvage what was left of my life - but more than that - to reach out for the life I knew was waiting for me. One not lived in a numb fog. We know you can and will do this, & we are with you. Keep talking to us.