Asking for help is the first step. I'm 45 and suffered from depression for a number of years. I self-medicated myself just as you are doing and from way too much experience I can tell you that it's dead end street. Pot, alcohol, whatever just leads to more and more depression. Go to a health professional, your doctor or a counselor, and be honest with them. Tell them how you feel and what you've been using to try to feel better. Go to twelve step recovery meetings and make connections. Their are lot's of people who are going through or have been through the same as what is going on with you. I take medication under a doctor's guidance and go to meeting to help stay clean and sober. I also try to do something nice for someone every day. It helps to get me out of myself. When I spend too much time alone, little things can seem overwhelming. Keep asking for help and don't stop till you find something that works, you're worth the effort. find