This is something I am still dealing with. When I was begining my alcoholic spiral I was in a place that forces you to be close to others, a military barracks on an isolated base, guess what we did for fun? Get trashed. Every weekend, and not uncommonly on the weekdays, drinking till we puked and then drinking some more. I have always been a quiet and underconfident person and alcohol brought out the boisterious and jumbilant part of me I could have fun and let loose and had some damn good friends to do it with. Then I changed stations which is enivetable in the service and didn't know anyone. Alcohol had been my solution before so why not now right? that was when I started drinking everyday, I still socialized at this point but drank alone more and more as well. My drinking was socialy acceptable in the setting I was in, so I didn't really have to hide it. I moved out in town with a roomate that drink almost as much as I did and we had a great time going out on the town, or drinking at home either one. Now I moved again, and the job I have now looks down pretty harshly on my level of drinking so I kept it secret and drank alone. I still had friends at that point and drank with them from time to time, but they werent' the type to be drinking alone so I am not sure that they knew I drank every day, in my room with my movies and games. Moved again, this time where I am the boss and now I find myself without friends of any kind and drinking alone in my house, that was all I did. Now I am almost gratefull for that because it made me realize my problem. If I had stayed in the "fleet" as we call it I don't think I would have thought of it as a problem, at least not for a few more years, or until it caused major problems.
Now the issue is that I never really learned how to socialize without alcohol, at nearly 30 I am going to have to learn what most teenagers learn in school. oh well I am okay with being alone for now, even though sometimes it bothers me. I think I just have to ride out this duty for the next year and a half until I get back to the states then I can work on developing relationships without alcohol involved. I hope it will be easier in the states because well at least there we speak the same language
As I told you Sapling I will check out an AA meeting and even though I don't think I will be working the steps or anything like that I might meet some people that i know don't drink and I can at least talk to about our similar past. It has been my experience that nothing brings people together like a shared experience of misery, I know that sounds kind of Gothic but its the truth. Eapecially from a military perspective, if a group of people go through hell together even if you hate some of them they are closer to you then anyone that wasn't in on the experience. That may be why people get along so well here and in places like AA, we all know where the other person has been even if we weren't right there when it happened.