Notices

Did or do any of you suffer from isolation?

Old 03-23-2012, 03:25 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Did or do any of you suffer from isolation?

Even from the people you drank/drink with?...I was always a pretty popular guy as a kid and even through a good portion of my drinking career...I liked being around people. I started drinking at a very young age...I was experimenting with it at around the age of 12...And by 15 I was drinking alcoholically. I loved this line I heard a guy say in a meeting one day...That alcoholics are the only people that cure lonliness with isolation...That was me...I found that as my disease progressed....The more I just wanted to drink alone. This went against the grain of everything I'd ever done...And it really started working on my mind....It gave me more time to think about my problem...And the more I thought about it....The more I drank. I really think that state of mind had more to do with me giving up alcohol than all the destruction and misery that I had caused myself and others....And my failing health put together....
When I finally gave up and checked myself into Detox/Rehab...The doctor told me from the results of my bloodwork about my liver...It doesn't look real good...But I've seen worse. That was about all the encouragement I needed to hear. So I ended up leaving rehab a little early because I had been turned on to AA and I wanted to work that program at a faster pace than I could where I was...And I have since given up alcohol....The liver does heal...If you stop killing it...And I've been able to face my past and right my wrongs thanks to AA....Get spritually where I needed to be...I was bankrupt in that department...But even knowing what I did about my health....I think the one thing I didn't want to face again and that scared me more than anything...Was the isolation...Drinking alone....Because I think if I kept on that road...It would have killed me before anything else. It's good to be around sober people today and not drinking....That's my thought for today.
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 03:39 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: FLorida
Posts: 53
Great post Sapling. Yes, I suffer from isolation. Still do. However, that is because of my property... it is isolated. Of course, I could go out if I wanted to.

I loved being alone and drinking. That is all I did. I would do the basic chores and then drink all day. I would do a load of laundry and it would sit for days in the washer and then more days in the dryer. It took a week to get one load of laundry done. It was disgusting. At the end I was drinking from morning until night and start all over the next day.

I hated myself and the alcolhol and the isolation were killing me, literally.

Now, I keep busy all day with stuff I let go for years. I must have months and months of stuff to catch up on. When I go to sleep at night now, it is because I am tired from working around here. It is a lot of work. 5 acres and lots of animals.

I feel good about myself. I am going to look into AA to meet people like me. I look forward to it. I am 9 days sober today.
muffin1707 is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 03:48 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: liverpool
Posts: 13
hi sapling , that sounds a lot like my story , i isolated myself fom everybody , the last few years i just got wasted upstairs at home away from the rest of the family , it just got worse , im only on day 2 but its a start , your story gives me hope , thanks for that , luckily my mrs is a kind , loving and caring person who is helping me a lot , i want to be sober so bad , wish me luck friend.
hopetobesober is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 03:51 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Good for you muffin...I'd recommend AA...I wouldn't if it didn't work...Put the effort in...You'll love the results...When I was talking about isolation killing me...I meant that literally too..
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 03:55 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by hopetobesober View Post
hi sapling , that sounds a lot like my story , i isolated myself fom everybody , the last few years i just got wasted upstairs at home away from the rest of the family , it just got worse , im only on day 2 but its a start , your story gives me hope , thanks for that , luckily my mrs is a kind , loving and caring person who is helping me a lot , i want to be sober so bad , wish me luck friend.
You can do it....My mrs. didn't wait around long enough for me to wise up...And I don't blame her. She was kind, loving and caring long enough.
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:06 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
JohnnyDetox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 443
Ah yes, Isolation. My dear old friend. That combined with guilt kept me going for many years. I've always been somewhat of a private person, reserved is how I like to think of it as. Once I discovered the joys of drinking alone, I thought I was in Heaven.

Even during several periods of abstinence / sobriety, it still can be a problem. Recently though I've started going out of my comfort zone, different parts of the city, talking with others. Proper medication and usage is helping a great deal.

Curing lonliness with isolation, that's a great one. Rings true for me.

Hang in there Muffin, and DO give AA a chance, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
JohnnyDetox is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:10 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Dazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 223
That alcoholics are the only people that cure lonliness with isolation.

That's been my story too. I could have a great time by myself drunk, in fact, that was the only way I drank - alone. If I did drink with others I was careful about how much I drank then tanked up once I got home.

Thanks for the post, the alcoholic mind is really a strange thing....
Dazee is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:14 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Dazee View Post
the alcoholic mind is really a strange thing....
It's the only one I've ever really known...
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:29 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
soberwingz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: North America
Posts: 162
Drinking alone assured I could drink "my way". When in a group I would only have one or two drinks. Would never drink and drive. I did many things to conceal the degree of my problem. On the outside it was so critical to keep the appearance of control alive. But once at home in the basement...game on and no stopping.

What an awful existence.

Good post.
soberwingz is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:32 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by soberwingz View Post
What an awful existence.
Amen...
Sapling is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:34 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
DoinThis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
YES! my drinking esculated when i moved states and didnt know anyone, hubby was working long hours so I'd just crack a bottle earlier and earlier everyday. prior to this I NEVER drank alone!! drinking was just a social thing to me even though it was always heavy.

fast forward 3 years and i absolutely prefered drinking alone....lots of it. so weird to me, still baffles me how it happened. now 7 weeks sober i only crave when im alone. if im out socializing its easier, unless im with other heavy drinkers, then i just dont stay very long. they become so seriously booooooring!
DoinThis is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:39 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
yep i was terrible for that, the only person i would see every day would be the indian dude in the store next door, id turn up there shaking and get my fix of beer for the day, and then return later at night for more...i remember the look of concern on his face...like he was thinking 'why are you doing this to yourself' or something like that...but he'd still sell me the booze, business is business afterall, and yeh i know what you mean about being scared by the liver thing enough to encourage you to stop, id wake up everyday look in the mirror to see if my face had gone yellow yet, and if not id think 'cool, i keep on drinking' ...crazy hey! started to get alot of pains in that area too, went to see my doctor about, he just confirmed what i already knew though, that my liver was inflamed and cannot cope with this much longer and im drinking myself to death, that was enough to shock me into finding a solution, and i thank god everyday and aa for that!
i still isolate a fair bit now, and i know its dangerous and not healthy, but i know that just requires more action from me, to get out and mingle with the fellowship...plus i have SR now too! thank god for interweb hey!!

Last edited by johnny2times; 03-23-2012 at 04:41 AM. Reason: typos
johnny2times is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 05:06 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
Even from the people you drank/drink with?...I was always a pretty popular guy as a kid and even through a good portion of my drinking career...I liked being around people. I started drinking at a very young age...I was experimenting with it at around the age of 12...And by 15 I was drinking alcoholically. I loved this line I heard a guy say in a meeting one day...That alcoholics are the only people that cure lonliness with isolation...That was me...I found that as my disease progressed....The more I just wanted to drink alone.
Yea man that's exactly how it has been for me... I used alcohol to help isolate myself from people big time. It would make it so I didn't feel lonely... didn't feel anything much at all as a matter of fact except for sick on the floor pretty much everyday before I started drinking again that day. For several years now I'd just go to work (when I made it there) and come home... get obliterated... call some family members and be a jerk... eat some bad food... then pass out. Wake up feeling terrible and then stop at the liquor store before work. The strange part is that inside I knew what I was doing was not right but I just didn't care. I'd justify it by saying that it was better than feeling the "pain". When I think about it now... the "pain" was CREATED by the drinking for the most part! So in just the short 3 weeks that I've stopped drinking I notice that I'm getting out more and socializing in much more constructive ways than when I was drinking... I see a lot more smiles... including my own!
jobei is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 05:09 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Random Guy
 
InsertNameHere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
This is something I am still dealing with. When I was begining my alcoholic spiral I was in a place that forces you to be close to others, a military barracks on an isolated base, guess what we did for fun? Get trashed. Every weekend, and not uncommonly on the weekdays, drinking till we puked and then drinking some more. I have always been a quiet and underconfident person and alcohol brought out the boisterious and jumbilant part of me I could have fun and let loose and had some damn good friends to do it with. Then I changed stations which is enivetable in the service and didn't know anyone. Alcohol had been my solution before so why not now right? that was when I started drinking everyday, I still socialized at this point but drank alone more and more as well. My drinking was socialy acceptable in the setting I was in, so I didn't really have to hide it. I moved out in town with a roomate that drink almost as much as I did and we had a great time going out on the town, or drinking at home either one. Now I moved again, and the job I have now looks down pretty harshly on my level of drinking so I kept it secret and drank alone. I still had friends at that point and drank with them from time to time, but they werent' the type to be drinking alone so I am not sure that they knew I drank every day, in my room with my movies and games. Moved again, this time where I am the boss and now I find myself without friends of any kind and drinking alone in my house, that was all I did. Now I am almost gratefull for that because it made me realize my problem. If I had stayed in the "fleet" as we call it I don't think I would have thought of it as a problem, at least not for a few more years, or until it caused major problems.

Now the issue is that I never really learned how to socialize without alcohol, at nearly 30 I am going to have to learn what most teenagers learn in school. oh well I am okay with being alone for now, even though sometimes it bothers me. I think I just have to ride out this duty for the next year and a half until I get back to the states then I can work on developing relationships without alcohol involved. I hope it will be easier in the states because well at least there we speak the same language As I told you Sapling I will check out an AA meeting and even though I don't think I will be working the steps or anything like that I might meet some people that i know don't drink and I can at least talk to about our similar past. It has been my experience that nothing brings people together like a shared experience of misery, I know that sounds kind of Gothic but its the truth. Eapecially from a military perspective, if a group of people go through hell together even if you hate some of them they are closer to you then anyone that wasn't in on the experience. That may be why people get along so well here and in places like AA, we all know where the other person has been even if we weren't right there when it happened.
InsertNameHere is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 05:26 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
SOBERINNEPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
My routine was to go home and slaughter a bottle of Stoli, chased by a few beers, and pass out by 8:30. This was a daily ritual. I spoke to no one and didn't leave the house. At the end, I was drinking to manage my withdrawal symptoms. Flying home from work to get that first pull on the bottle in the freezer.

AA really helps me because it forces me to engage the world in a new, healthy way. I won't belittle step work or sponsorship but, for me, the life saver is the fellowship. Loneliness is the killer, for me.
SOBERINNEPA is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 05:43 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,331
I isolated myself during the last year of ,my drinking because I didn't want anything to interfere. But, I got back into the swing of things. I began to do volunteer work and met some wonderful people, and my job has me dealing with people all the time. So, it's actually nice to have some quiet time at the end of the day.
Anna is online now  
Old 03-23-2012, 07:03 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 249
One of my favorite songs contains the line, "...and people are the greatest part." That is so very true. It is the people in our lives, our relationships, that offer so much genuine happiness and joy. Though alcohol and drugs might allow us to feel happy joy, it's temporary, and not real. Then once the high fades, we're left alone again, even more alone than before, because we have further isolated ourselves in addiction. It's a powerful motivator to not use, to be present to be able to connect with others. So easy to forget while in isolation.
andisa is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 07:19 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
SHARING THE LOAD
 
Firehazard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Hi Sapling and all, Yes I was a world class isolator and the sad thing is I

didn't know it. I have found relief by forcing myself out of that fearfull comfort zone

which to me is isolation. I also found a friend in Bill W. In the first paragraph of Bill

Story there is a profound sentance that states, "I was lonely and again turned to

alcohol.
" Is not this the real reason I drank as well loneliness born out of isolation. Glad

to have friends now.
Firehazard is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 01:43 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: IL
Posts: 16
I love to isolate because I have chronic anxiety that literally traps me in bed. I also did most of my drug using alone, in my room. Rarely did them elsewhere. Haven't had any good friends in a good few years, and very few I can trust.

I'm hoping my desire to isolate the more sobriety I have behind me, once my new meds level out/kick in, and once I begin to exercise regularly (to begin this weekend) will decrease as I enjoy interacting with people, just experience high stress and anxiety when I do so..unless self-medicated.
wanttofeelok is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 01:52 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Powerless over Alcohol
 
IndaMiricale's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I did the same thing. Always popular and loved being around people to drinking with or without people.

The only brain I knew was the alcoholic one also until I began this wonderful journey at 39 last year. After being in the ICU and being told that I had wet brain, and she doctor said how lucky I was to be able to come out of it. As for the the other organs they are pretty bad but I am alive.

I love the new journey and the fellowship. Good love Sampling keep on keepin on.

Peace, Inda
IndaMiricale is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:24 AM.