IncitingSilence,
Thank you for your reply. You are right on so many levels.
I will freely admit that one of my most vulnerable areas where BF is concerned is cutting him slack because I feel bad for things that have happened to him, and I allow it to become an excuse for mistakes he made in the past.
He didnt have a bad childhood; but his mom died when he was young. He didnt have any addiction, or abuse or anything like that going on within his family. I personally think his dad pushed him too hard to excel in certain areas, but lots of dads do that especially with their sons. The thing that brings out the most sympathy for me is because his little boy died.
And what you said about they learn from our first reactions... Im guessing you meant they learn what they can get away with , what we will tolerate.. and your right about that also. To be honest, I know that if he wanted to start going behind my back and using again, he could most likely get away with it for a long time without my even knowing, until it started affecting his behavior towards me - then I hope I would realize. So you are correct in this - that Im making myself wide open for big hurt... if he chooses to take advantage of my trust.
Anway, thank you... letting it sink in. Im slow.
Kel