I love the say "we are not victims or martirs only Volunteers". I tell that to my kids, my parents, my family and friends...lol, but especailly to myself, go to support groups, take the kids to al-ateen if they are over 8 years old, but do things because YOU want to do it for you, GOD will take care of his children, maybe your A just wants a babysitter, he needs to do his part. I was so busy trying to change the alcoholic that forgot about my children emotional support, I was there physically but not emotional, alcoholism took all my emotional, mental, spiritual power, my kids only got my body presence, that is what alcohol does to relationships, it takes us hostage.
Unless you take care of yourself, you are not there for your children either. You will be in my prayers.