I really don’t know I would get through any of this with out you all.
So I don’t know how to do the quote with in my post so hang in there with me...
Jillian: Thank you for sharing your story with me. It is a terrifying thing to think of being 'sneaky' in order to be free. But know that it has been done before gives me some light at the end of my tunnel. Thank you for sharing your hope with me.
Finding Joy: I envy you for having a BF that was strong enough to embrace his illness and get help so that you could have a life together. I am trying to initiate the conversations that will give my ABF a chance to say “Maybe I do need help". With all that I have read and watch (growing up in an abusive alcoholic home) he needs to come the 'help' choice on his own, I can’t force that. But I don’t think that I can wait for that moment to come. Maybe by losing me, losing his son, and losing the support network to care for his other two kids (I do most of it when he is drunk) that he might hit bottom and ask for help. Thank you for your support.
Zaso77: I know that I am afraid. The world is big and scary and I don’t want to do it alone. I know that is a weak way to look at it, but I am terrified to be alone. You said that he can’t love me the way that I should be loved and I cried. I am not really the crying type but that did it. I have loved A LOT of bad people in my life and I really wanted this one to be different. If I leave does that mean that I failed? Thank you for your honesty and friendship.
Windmills: Today is ...blah. I am so numb today that I really think I might have to throw cold water on myself or something. He was amazing last night - Dinner, movie, shopping, great daddy, no booze. It was the life that I wanted..It was one night of what I want my life to be. And I come here and see my blog and my posts and I remember "right, he treats me like ***t most nights. And now I want to just go home, get my son, and run. Find a life that is worth living ALL THE TIME. How are you today? LOL Thank you for being here.