We get addicted to the idea..the hope that he will "stay" the nice, loving guy we see in him,however; he is not, It has taking me almost 2 years now after he left, just now I started to see our relationship for what it was, the fantasy is what kept me around for so many years, the hope that when he stopped drinking our lives will be this fairy tale.
Reality is..I lost myself in his addiction, I was miserable for most of the 16 years we were together, this is just ME, now my children..the youngest one was the happiest little boy until he turned 14, then he became depressed and suicidal, the older one left home at 18, screw up around alcohol but thanks to my Higher Power he is now on the right track even though he married a woman like his alcoholic step-dad, the youngest NOW is fighting his social phobias and lack of self esteem, dope and addiction to pills.
Was all that worth it because I LOVE my alcoholic and thought he was the only one...NOPE.
I did not have SR or al-anon 25 years ago when I was dating the first alcoholic in my life but YOU do, take advantage of the ES&H of this forum, not just for you but for your children, my hope is that one day this codependacy and addictions will be abolish from the face of the earth, and let it begin with me.