Originally Posted by
m1k3 
He may have actually quit and many people do quit without AA. One way to check is to ask him if he is committed to NEVER drinking again.
Now, just because he quit drinking, assuming he did, that doesn't mean he doesn't have a lot of other issues to deal with.
I think it was anvilhead who said that when you wring the alcohol out of an asshat your still left with an asshat.
If you want to be together this is something the 2 of you together are going to have to work out.
Your friend,
Thanks! I guess I have to decide how important my marriage really is. I think I'm just more confused now that he's not drinking. I find myself getting irritated quicker at his comments and attitudes that I used to before the drinking escalated. Maybe the DUI was the straw that broke the camel's back? Maybe we just need to co-exist in the house until I figure out what I want? Right now, I don't know what I want. Well, that's not true: I know I want the marriage to work and that I don't want to tear our family apart just because I am emotionally depleted. I guess I'm just trying to find the strength to keep pressing forward, to set those boundaries, and to examine the relationship in the future to see if it's still worth sticking it out.
One thing I know for sure: he's made it clear that he is committed to NOT drinking EVER again. He's also made it clear that he's committed to staying in our marriage even if it means celibacy for the next 10 years. He said he just wants me to be happy. He doesn't understand that I am happy! I'm just not happy about our marriage but I am happy with my life and happy with my activities, and I love being a mom and taking care of our home, etc. Those things make me happy. I don't rely on him for completeness or for my only source of happiness, which he seems to think he does.