i was arrested
I have a RO against AH. I also have an order from the court tied into the RO that I have a right to be in the house alone (his lawyer tried to argue I did not have this right bc his name is on the mortgage but the judge made a "custody" of property sort of decision-- I don't really understand it-- and said that until the divorce is finalized and property division sorted out, I have sole access to the house. Anyway, on Sunday, AH showed up at the house, violating the RO. I opened the door after he screamed and ranted and the girls were bawling and saying they wanted him... It was stupid to open the door and I know that now. I didn't think it would be a big deal at the time and I thought if he could say hi to the girls he'd leave and then I'd call the police. Well, I opened the door, with the girls right there and he punched me in the stomach hard enough to lift me off my feet and I wound up on the ground. I got up, shouted that the girls get in their rooms and called 911 instantly. In whatever brief time it took for them to come, he went into the barn that is attached to our house and cut himself (or scratched--- not sure which) on the face, neck and arms.
When the police came AH emerged from the barn and that's the first I saw of his "injuries". I told them what happened. Then I was told to stay in one room and he was taken into the next room and I could hear him telling the officers that I told him to come over and had said that I would be gone (makes NO sense) and that he could be with the girls. Then he said that I attacked him and that's where his injuries came from.
The police who came were two, young males and I hate to sound gender biased but I feel like they were biased against me bc what happened next was that I was told to wait in the living room, they took AH outside and I assumed he'd be arrested. I told them he had hit me by the way and they looked skeptical bc I had no visible injury and said it was odd that I had no bruises.
Next thing I know, the officers ask me to step outside (the girls had come downstairs by now and were sitting with me). I told them I'd be right back and to go back to D6's room. Instead they went to the window of the playroom. The officers stood me in front of that very window, and told me I was under arrest for assaulting my husband. I was handcuffed and my daughters saw it all. I was charged with simple assault. This happened on Sunday and bc it was a weekend I was brought first to the police station and booked like a criminal and then I was brought to the county jail where I was held until Monday morning. AH actually called my mother to tell her I had been arrested (which I guess is good bc she was able to get my lawyer on things first thing Monday morning).
My lawyer had the temporary RO removed that the police put on me banning me from contacting AH or my children and has already been before the judge and has successfully had MY RO against AH made permanent (for a year- that's as permanent as they get). He has also filed something on my behalf regarding the police mistreatment (the fact that AH who had a RO against him wasn't arrested is just the tip of the iceberg) and the way they handled what happened is going to be addressed. Ultimately it doesn't matter to me bc the damage is done but my lawyer is hell bent on having the cops held responsible for their gross lapse in judgement. I'm just deeply disturbed that my kids saw what they did.
I am in utter shock. My lawyer assures me that he will demonstrate that AH manipulated the entire situation and I will have no record and that his lying to the police will not be taken lightly. When I went to work today my boss played me a message AH left her late Sunday night (like 1 am) saying that I had asked him to call her and that I was very ill and might not be in all week. When she heard that yesterday she called the police and said she knew he was abusive and was scared for me and asked that they try to find me. She was called back by dispatch and told I was in custody and "safe" so that took care of me having to tell her I was arrested today. Fortunately she was understanding and has saved AH's message (he emailed her too) and said that she will testify or do whatever she can for me.
The man assaulted himself, accused me of it and was believed by the idiot cops. I finally stopped defending myself to the cops after they arrested me bc I was told I wasn't "credible" and that my AH had told them I was "mentally ill" and they could "see it". All of this was said to me by the police. I finally asked one of them if there was a recording going on (bc I was thinking that they were crazy to be talking to me like they were if there was a recording device). The officer smiled and told me that there was a camera on me but no audio and smiled again. F'ing scary.
I spent the night in jail in a cell -- it was the most disturbing experience of my life. I can't even describe how horrible it was. I am sick to my stomach thinking about it and feel numb about all of this.
Please don't lecture me about how I shouldn't have opened the door. I am aware of it. I opened the door bc I didn't want a scene with him screaming outside and I made a devastatingly bad error in judgement.