Originally Posted by
MsPINKAcres 
Congrats to you for seeking healthy things for YOU in this situation ~ that is not only awesome for you ~ but great for your son!!
Now, this is just my thoughts on the issue with visitation so please take what you like and leave the rest - let your HP be your guide as you make these decisions. . .
FOR ME ~ just because you happen to be a Mother/Father doesn't mean that you are ENTITLED to rights to a child, especially if you have exhibited behaviors/actions that have been proven to be harmful or endangering to the child.
FOR ME ~ I have to base my decisions on a person's actions not on their words or best intentions . . . I know my step-son would never intentionally hurt his daughter (our granddaughter) but sometimes this disease prevents him from making healthy decisions to protect her ~ therefore Mr. PINK & I have to limit her contact\visit with him.
After a while, if he ever gets in recovery and provides extended examples of healthy responsible behaviors and actions ~ then we would reconsider the time we allow her to spend with him. . .
That's just how we handle it ~
Praying God's very Best for ALL in this situation!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
thank you rita, these words are very meaningful and helpful, and now i have some time to think about them. i am trying my very hardest to do the best thing for myself and our son! (BTW her DOC is heroin) i am also very aware that her actions must show me how serious she is. some positives...she decided to get help HERSELF, went to an inpatient 35 day rehab program at a legit place, and decided HERSELF(with the recommendation of her counselor)to go to sober living (minimum 90 day) out of state after that, and her positive reaction to us "taking a break" showed me that is serious about recovery. now some negatives...well she had a relapse a few weeks back by doing "whippets," but she says now that was something that showed her that she has to surrender herself fully and not do things "her" way. she definitely knows the right things to say, but i am aware of how that can be deceiving. so now only time and her actions will tell.
Originally Posted by
outtolunch If I recall, your child is with one of your parents. Given GF's history and 4 other kids, is there any reason why custody should change, unless you are prepared to take custody of your own child ?
and sorry for any confusion outtolunch...but i take care of my son full time, with the exception of my parents helping me out when i go to work. we have no court orders though. we had a hearing at the end of the month, but i put in a request to dismiss the case because i did not trust this judge. this was a hard decision for me, but i did not want the fate of my son be put in the hands of a judge that seemed to be ignorant to the disease of addiction. this judge had dismissed an emergency temp order i previously had and put my son back into the hands of his addicted mother. as far as her other 4 daughters, most likely she will have them back on the normal schedule she had with their father as soon as she gets back...unless by that time she feels she may need more time for healing. but i guarantee he really doesnt care about any of her healing. hope that clears some stuff up...