Talltrees

I guess I'm in sort of a mental dilema. I am not sure if people remember any of my other posts, but my brother is a heroin addict, is on house arrest living with my grandfather and probably going to federal prison for a long time soon. So the new part : (I hope this doesn't turn into a long boring story)

I speak to my grandfather on the internet and I feel that we are somewhat close that way. He is my biological dad's dad and I haven't seen too much of him my whole life because things have been bitter ever since my mom divorced my real dad when I was born, and also because my real dad is still a jerk and lives with my grandfather. Before the prison drama, my grandfather always asked me about my brother and how he was doing (he had no clue my brother was an abusive drug addict) and why I never knew anything about where he was living. In truth, I have only seen my brother twice since my wedding and he had gotten worse than I'd ever seen him. So just two months ago, I finally told my grandfather that my brother has been a heroin addict for a long time, hits his girlfriend and is not doing well. He thanked me for telling him the truth and seemed really understanding.

Well now my brother is living with him---coincidentally my brother chose to call him when the living arrangements were made after bail. My grandfather is a former DEA agent. I do not think he is naive, but it really surprises me that he is allowing my brother to stay with him. And it sort of makes me mad, but that's my problem :-)

So this morning, I got an email from my grandpa asking me to call my brother. He said it would be encouraging and "make his day". My grandfather does not know that my brother used to be physically abusive to me before I left home. I was seventeen the last time it happened, which was the worst incident. It was in front of a lot of my family while we were vacationing out-of-state at a beach house. My mother wouldn't let me call the police because it was "time for bed" and it would just keep my brother and sister awake (who were 2 at the time). I took pictures of the biggest bruises I have ever seen, and the next day I went to the police department to find out about my options. The officer saw the bruises and was sympathetic, but said I would have to go to my home state and get a protective order, which my parents would have to sign. Of course my mom would never let that happen. But my dad (my stepdad, but he's my dad) did drive him seven hours home the next day and told him to get his things and leave. After that he lived with my grandmother for a while, but was eventually kicked out for drug use, so my mom allowed him back and I left instead.

Typing this reminds me of how much anger I still have towards her for letting this go on and always choosing him over me. She still calls me jealous.

So back to the email... I don't feel like I can call my brother, and I feel like I might just sound like an angry brat if I don't tell my grandpa the real reason. I don't want to start any kind of a relationship with my brother, even by phone. I just don't know what to say. I want to keep my relationship with my grandpa the way it is and forget about my brother.