Thanks, Bill.
I always end up feeling as though I need to eat my words after I post something about my in-laws.
Today, I was actually having a panic attack (something that hardly ever happens anymore), due to the fact that my new PCP has been really hassling me about refilling my anxiety medication (which I've been taking for six years, besides the one time I got off it while I was pregnant, and hardly ever left my house as a result), and making me jump through a lot of hoops that I've already jumped through in order to settle on a medication that works for me.
So I had to schedule an impromptu visit to my clinic, ask to be set up with a different doctor, and prescribed Ativan in addition to my regular anxiety medication, my anxiety level was so through the roof.
My MIL's friend stepped right up to babysit at a moment's notice, and my BIL even came over for a while with my niece to help.
But still, I think I'm shaming myself a bit much when I say that I feel like I should eat my words. I do my part when they need help with my niece, as long as it's not day after day, etc.
The funny thing is that I feel much more inclined to help my BIL when he needs someone to sit with her for a while, because he is much more easy going about it than my MIL, and for him it's not a choice to overextend himself. It's his daughter, and he's just trying to do his best as a dad to share custody of her.
My MIL's friend came over again later in order to get some things she left behind at our place, and just kind of sat down and hung out with me, although I had designs to take a nap while my son was napping.
We talked quite a bit about some fairly personal things, and now I'm just kind of wishing I wouldn't allow her to "grow" on me, as I have developed a healthy wariness of extremely codependent people...ehhhh...and she appears to be an *extremely* codependent person.
What a weird situation, all in all. I really don't know where my boundaries should be with it sometimes.
But I think that I'm still being realistic in setting boundaries about watching my niece for my MIL, as there is something a bit "off" that I can't quite put my finger on about it...maybe the whole "bartering system" thing, or the sense that she's doing us a favor by babysitting our son for a few hours, but she's somehow obligated to watch my niece for the entire weekend, even though my BIL is at work all day on Saturdays and Sundays.
Meh...I suppose I'll stop worrying about it for now, and just move on with going in to work tomorrow, scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist so that I can stop being hassled by PCPs who don't want to prescribe anxiety medications, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I got a one month prescription for my medication today, with instructions that I must see a psychiatrist for any additional prescriptions...so I'm still feeling pretty anxious.
Thanks as always to all of you for being here, and for being my support.
