I know where you are coming from Kiddo, I thought maybe pre-emptive scheduling would be a way to head them off at the pass and not interrupt naptime for your son.
Too bad your BIL and his wife cannot work out a better system.
Sorry you guys are under so much stress, I remember when we were buying our first house, man I ,
thought my head would blow off before it would be done.
Try and remember that you will get through it, your banker and realtor should be making things easier for you, they are being paid alot of money, be demanding of them.
Hang in there,
Big hugs,
Bill