I did get an appointment with my therapist tomorrow first thing in the morning. I think that will help. I also just talked to my mom and a friend because I had to step away from my desk for a little while. I’ll keep you all posted. I know what you are all saying to me is true, that time will heal this. I just need to pull my head out of my a-s and realize that I am not wrong here and I can’t let this person manipulate me and my thoughts. I just feel used to top it off. This person was at his rock bottom and I stayed with him to see him through even though we had to go no contact while he had to clean it up. I feel like he used me to feel good about himself through addiction, used me to feel good post rehab (when he idealized me) and then threw me away when he felt it was too much work for him.
I thank you all for your posts. I have been reading them all day.