Hi Madison-I'm so sorry you are going through this too....when reading your post tonight, it was like I was reading my own story. The lies, the passive aggresive behavior, the manipulation (Yes! he is manipulating you!) the blame shifiting etc etc etc...my exabf did all of that too! I too walk around thinking WTH happened a few weeks ago? Its soo much insanity that your mind becomes jumbled and you start questioning your own sanity. But you know what? You know something isn't right. He was lying to you during the times he would become defensive when you asked him questions. You are not insane, you don't lie and play mind games.
I still sit hear trying to figure things out right before the break up. A few weeks before we broke up my ex was telling me how he was more in love with me now than he has ever been. How he wanted to still move out of this city so we could make a new start together. He told me I was the only one that truly cared for him and he was very lucky and blessed to have me....and then it started to all collapse once again. The night he came over to watch movies and spend time with me he passed out on the couch, although this was not like the other times. He was drooling and his breathing was irregular. I just got upset and went to bed as I thought he was stoned from smoking weed. The next morning at 6am he was still in the same position on my couch still with his shoes and coat on. It kind of scared me. Later that morning he told me he took just one muscle relaxer to calm himself down.
I still don't understand myself, and like you Madison, I keep asking myself what happened to all the promises? Why all the lies? Why am I the reason he is now done with me, when I actually told him I cannot do this anymore. He just texted me the other day how I was a "f'ing cold blooded bi*ch."
I agree with what everyone above has said. They make NO sense, they are caught up in their own disease, not only that but also having a personality disorder is making them seem even more insane.
Hang in there! I know how difficult it can be...we can get through this **hugs**