Wow, thank you all for the wonderful support. I want you to know that I have a very strong support system, Husband, two other kids and wonderful friends who are "walking" with me on this dark path. Everyone concurs that he will choose and only he will choose when he wants to talk to us. I agree that my exhausted state of mind from dealing with the last 2 weeks of pure grief and sorrow have made me even more susceptible to awfulizing everything. Sadly, my son spent his 21st AND his 22nd birthdays in a detox 5150 situation due to Heroin. I hope this is the last birthday he ever spends alone. Now he has to face the consequences of breaking his probation. I will keep everyone posted. I am going to do what you all have done: give it up and trust in my HP to carry me.
Love
T