loneywife..I am from NJ and not familiar with the divorce laws in NY, but wanted to share my story. I have been seperated from my exah since dec.2009 and divorce finalized this past april. neither one of us contested it.
however, it was a brutal process. very emotional and draining. I recommend
a few things, first off try mediation it will save money from legal costs (we didnt do that because he was too drugged & combative) also try to do most
of the leg work yourself, you can search on the internet how the divorce process works.
at a recent divorce support group an attorney spoke and said the following:
"marriage is about love, divorce is about money".."dont waste your time & money telling your attorney emotional things"...get your ducks in a row (assets, debt, settlement ideas of alimony,child support etc.) most importantly I say from my own exp. that you need to be ready to battle both
mentally,emotionally and have knowledge of all your marital affairs.
Im so sorry your having to go through this. It is a difficult decision to make when our spouses are addicts.
Please try to seek support as well with divorce groups, like alanon, the people
are very caring and you will need support with every step of the divorce process, I wish I had attended meetings from day 1. (while seperated)
divorce is just the first step in further detaching yourself from him, you will still need to heal from this too.
wish you the best...stay strong