At 9:55am GMT, you posted that you weren't going to fool yourself again. Almost exactly 3 hours later you said you feel like drinking again. Sounds like something I used to do. The morning vow to never do that to myself again. Then a few hours later, "hmm, a few drinks sound pretty good."
What changed your thinking in those 3 hours? Was it the xanax? Did you think that last bender wasn't really that bad?
It's only going to get worse my friend. It did for me. There is a much better way to live than chasing your tail.
God bless.