Originally Posted by
klbutcher 
Pigtails. My partner is an alcohlic, I relate to what you say and I sympathise with you completely. I am not an alcholic so of course I don't have my own recovery to think about and that must be of first priority to you, I'm sure but my life used to revolve around alcohol and I hated it... actually I more than hated it, I despised it.
The way I dealt with it was by not dealing with his alcoholism at all. I am still with my active addict, but I made some necessary and over due changes to my own life.
I am T-Total, I exercise reguarly, I see my friends, take my neices to the park, I am working towards a promotion and I am saving money.
It's not much but it makes me feel as if my life is heading in the right direction regardless and I hope in time my A will join me. But if he doesn't well, the only thing left for me to sort out would be leaving him and of course I wont do that until I am ready and who knows, maybe I wont even have too.
Thank you for this helpful advice. I took my dog for a run yesterday, now that it stays light out longer, and my boyfriend joined me. In the past we exercised together regularly and he feels better about himself and doesn't drink as much when he exercises. At the same time, I know I am doing this for me. If he joins me in any of it, great. If not, great. (Yesterday I told him I was going to an AA meeting and then running and he was welcome to join me in either/both-- he told me he would run with me...). I promised my dog I'll try to take her running every day this spring (she is a big dog and I live in an apartment!, poor thing), and I promised myself I will get in shape for summer time/beachwear! I worked on cleaning my apartment last night, which had been a goal for awhile and I finally made the time and want to keep making the time in the evenings. I rather recently started my own business so that gives me plenty to focus on as well. I feel like I stopped drinking and made some other good changes but then I got rather stuck, worried about my boyfriend and maybe afraid to move ahead without him or something. But now I'm going to plunge into recovery and into having the kind of life that I want, which definitely includes not drinking but also includes more than that.
I am going to take some "space" from my boyfriend in that I am going to just plan my own routine and make plenty of me-time and do healthy things that make me happy, and I will invite him along but not rely on him to do those things for myself. I think the hard part will be if he goes out drinking, then I'll feel like I'm moving ahead with my life and he is staying stuck in his... but I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it, and I will stay focused on my own goals no matter what. Thanks so much.