Pigtails. My partner is an alcohlic, I relate to what you say and I sympathise with you completely. I am not an alcholic so of course I don't have my own recovery to think about and that must be of first priority to you, I'm sure but my life used to revolve around alcohol and I hated it... actually I more than hated it, I despised it.
The way I dealt with it was by not dealing with his alcoholism at all. I am still with my active addict, but I made some necessary and over due changes to my own life.
I am T-Total, I exercise reguarly, I see my friends, take my neices to the park, I am working towards a promotion and I am saving money.
It's not much but it makes me feel as if my life is heading in the right direction regardless and I hope in time my A will join me. But if he doesn't well, the only thing left for me to sort out would be leaving him and of course I wont do that until I am ready and who knows, maybe I wont even have too.