Madison, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is so hard to get that trust back. I am going through the same thing with my fiance. He just got out of rehab on the 20th of last month and it has been a challenge every day. Of course I worry about him relapsing but I have had to remind myself not to obsess cause that trust is going to take a long time for him to rebuild and when it comes down to it, it's all up to him whether or not he stays clean. My honest opinion? I think having a contract like that isn't something that's healthy for you or him. For me a contract would just push me more into obsessing over what he's doing and it's probably making him feel like he's constantly being watched which would make anyone uncomfortable and irritable. It doesn't seem to be doing either of you any good. Something that I have learned and other people have already said is his actions will tell you all you need to know. When I approach my fiance about my worries he's very understanding and he doesn't get upset at all. That right there tells me that he's still on the right track cause if he was using, he would instantly get defensive.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is I don't think you need to go as far as having a contract. His actions and how he reacts when you express your concerns to him are a very clear way to see where his mindset is at. I know how it feels to be where you're at. It's such a horrible feeling and it just eats away at you cause you are trying so hard to get that secure feeling back. Believe me when I tell you though, analyzing everything the way you are right now is just going to make you crazy and you don't need that for yourself. He's going to do whatever he wants to do, you have no control over that. There's nothing you can say or do that's going to make him use or stay sober. All of that is in his hands. What you do have control over is yourself and how you let all of this affect you. Focus on keeping yourself healthy cause that's what is most important. I learned a lot from this site. The stickies on this forum are very helpful and as you have already seen there are so many people on here that have great advice to offer. Just take what best applies to your situation and leave the rest. I am very early into my recovery (codependency) and I still have so much to learn but something that I learned almost right away is it doesn't help to obsess over my fiance cause I had gotten to a point where I was so focused on him that I lost myself. It's not worth it. I've learned how to love him and support him in a HEALTHY way for him and myself. I hope you can achieve that for yourself and your BF. I'm sorry if I rambled but I hope most of my post made sense
I wish you and and your BF the best of luck and I hope you can find some kind of peace for yourself
Take care
Krystal