How do you deal with the regret?
I remind myself to turn around, because I'm looking the wrong way. I'm moving forward these days, not back. For that I'm grateful—and gratitude is the surefire cure for regret. Lots of people never find a way to escape addiction. It's an amazing gift to break free of it. And you know what else is a gift? The realization that each new day is a precious opportunity. Lots of folks—and I don't just mean alcoholics and drug addicts, but people in general—never realize that. Recovery really drives it home. It's amazing how life works, the way our curses can turn into blessings.
I'm not in AA; it's not the only path to recovery. One alternative is AVRT, and you can look up info on the secular connections forum of this site. They have a very active thread there, and one of the members, Terminally Unique, can send you some info to get you started.
That said, AA has worked wonders for many, many people. And as others have noted, it's hard to imagine that your husband has no idea at all. Even if he doesn't, this is a big deal, one of the biggest, actually. Don't you think it's time to start being honest with him? Hiding things, hiding ourselves, is a hallmark of addiction. Honesty isn't always easy, but then again, neither is recovery at first. And for me the two go hand-in-hand.
I felt "what are these people going to think of me."
I think you're a brave and strong person. Someone who has the rest of her life in front of her, and has taken a great step today toward securing the future she deserves. I'm really glad you decided to post.