Hi Foster
I can only echo the above messages. AA [and NA] were and are what I had to do. Turns out , all my real friends were glad because they understood that I needed desperately to take care of me. Loving myself was maybe my biggest obstacle in recovery .
Mary Oliver asks the question about what we each want to do with our one life... And the old Zen sage commented: "Let me remind you, the sands of your life are running fast. Pay Attention!"