Yeah I know what you mean Anvil and I also know that no one can decide to get/stay sober except for that person for him/herself. I think my problem is just trying to figure out what I want my life to look like. I was in the same place as he was but I have changed so much and I don't want a life that revolves around alcohol anymore. We are just on totally different pages and I guess I have to stick to what I want/don't want and move on. But the hard part is that he says he wants to change too so I have hope and I stay, but then he is back to denying it and then I want to leave. It's like this crazy game of yo-yo'ing back and forth.