I don't really act out in anger - I just don't want to talk to him right now. I did, however, put money on the stupid phone account because I want to know what they're going to do with him this time. Such conflict. I've never felt this before - any time he's been arrested I've always been busy visiting the jail, contacting attorneys, looking for rehab programs - busy, busy, busy. While I'm comfortable with not doing all that this time - I wish I could say that I've detached with love - not with anger.