Just another first
At 13 months and 10 days sober I thought I had pretty much been through most of the "firsts" a recovering alcoholic could go through: all holidays, summer vacations, parties, gigs (I'm a musician).....all without drinking. I survived a year of difficult extended family issues such as abuse and mental and physical illness....still didn't drink. I happily celebrated a daughter's college graduation and marriage while toasting with ice tea and water, and danced at her reception until the last note of the last song. This year I sailed, sunned, sang, fished, swam,....all sober. A year ago I had so dreaded all those inevitable firsts, but I not only survived.... I THRIVED! Alcohol was definitely in my past........except it really never completely is.
So today caught me off guard a little. I attended a musical with my daughter. I was really enjoying myself, as the production was top notch, held in the most charming venue. And then it was intermission and it seemed to me everyone
in the theater went to the lobby to drink of glass of wine. I instantly felt as if I had seen an old boyfriend. All the old memories of countless glasses of wine consumed during hundreds of intermissions came flooding back to me. Oh, I was not tempted to have "just one glass" because I know with certainty where that always leads....but it's just that I REMEMBERED. And just for a few minutes I let myself be a little sad over the breakup with that "boyfriend". As with any bad relationship, the passage of time tends to smooth the rough edges....we will remember happier moments, even if they only happened in our imagination.
Another lesson in my sober journey.....I know this won't be my last "first". But at this point I know I'm strong enough to handle the next one!