HI Gracey - I've been reading your post and I am just so impressed with how far you've come - you are an inspiration. I know exactly what you mean about the counselor and it not helping your AH. We are going to see one now, and she so much as told him this drinking would kill him, make our children grow up to be alcholics or adult children of alcholics, ruin our lives - non of it phased him a bit. He just is not ready to see. He was supposed to schedule our next appt, but hasn't yet ofcourse. So, I think I'll ask him today if he is - and if so, when - and if I'm just getting a con job, I'm going to tell him to forget it, and that I'll just go alone. I know what I need to do in this marriage anyway - I'm just working on the peace of mind to do it. Anyway, thanks for sharing your discoveries, you have helped many of us!