Gracey, discovery is such a wonderful thing, it is a hard way to go sometimes, but it is always just what we need.
I tried to have my AH go to counseling too, his attitude was the same. I dropped it from the first discussion. He went to a few church marraige meetings with me, but that died out soon. Detachment was the only other alternative. You have did all that you can to try to save him....well, we know now...and that can be wonderful. It makes us feel a void, but compared to the alternative...I'll take the void.
As you continue on, on your own road to recovery, you know that you are going to feel better. It does not make the situation go away, but from the inside, things begin to feel better. Going through the change may feel like a rollercoaster, but don't fret, keep your eye on you and things will stay more balanced within.
Praying for you and wishing you well in your journey. Sewing sounds so wonderful, don't let anything stand in your way.
Take care.