I was having alot of problems yesterday......my post didnt go through........
It was just another lesson learned in my opinion.....that is how I am going to look at it. I had to go home wake up my husband.....who cussed and said this was a bunch of BS.........complained all the way there........when we were there as usual nothing was solved......we spent the whole time arguing.......It was all negative......nothing was resolved at all regarding my oldest child.......
I have decided to let go of this situation.......I am not happy going to counseling with my husband..............I am not going to continue to see this counselor........in January I am going to seek out my own individual counseling and work on me...... My H thought it was a bunch of BS right from the beginning and told me so......so he was doing it to humor me........he complained every week anyway.........
I am never going to say another word to him about counseling.......I am going to find one that I like and I am going by myself...........counseling was another thing I was doing for him.......I didnt think I needed to be fixed......so I was going in hopes that the counselor would make him see the light..........I know how wrong my thinking is.......It was almost like I was wanting the counselor to say Hey wake up....you have got a great family what are you trying to do.....I was thinking the counselor would fix him for me........In desperation my husband agreed to go.....it isnt what he wanted......I knew that but I kept pressuring him........hoping he would see something.........
I am letting go of all of that..........boy do I know, I cant do a darn thing.......for him......It is almost like I can distance myself in an odd way......from certain things in our relationship now.......Its weird I cant explain it.....he is not going to see anything about anything unless he wants to........and I truly know this in my heart now........
This site and Alanon meetings was my first step, going to counseling by myself is my next goal.....but I cant start till January....for a new counselor......I just seen this flyer at work today.....regarding taking a sewing class.........I think it would be fun........I want to take this class.........so i am going to let my husband know I am interested in this class and I am going to take it........