Guidence please
Hello to all,
I am so new to this so please be patient. I have come to terms with the fact that I am one messed up dude. I've been wanting to have a normal mind set for a very long time. However this life I've had for the past twenty years keeps getting in the way. I have a great family, good job, no criminal problems, live in a good neighborhood with good schools, have great credit and three of the best children you could ever ask for, but when the day ends and the night begins, it's there, it's always there, calling to me to drink. It has gotten so bad that I can't even go into my basement without wanting to open a beer. I feel like a vampire hiding in my cave, alone with my diease, drinking or craving it when the sun goes down. I don't even remember what normal is like anymore, since about age 20 it's been like this. I self medicate, and have always put bandaids on my problems. I work in the field of law enforcement, which you don't go to rehab (however i believe would really help me) you don't talk about it with coworkers, or supervisors. You just pretend all is well and continue the cycle. Not to sure what to do at this point....