thank you YearForMe, for your wise words and for sharing your experience. looks like i have some things to consider. i have been researching addiction and learning more and more everyday. this forum has helped out tremendously. reading the stories, relating on so many levels. at times i feel like i am just driving myself more crazy with the amount of research i do. i totally get what you are saying, and i know from your experience that you understand how confusing and hard it is. i am vulnerable and precarious right now, no doubt! i will have to learn how to set these boundaries. i do not see humility yet in her. she seemed to be a bit "cocky" in a way, in the time that i had spent visiting with her while she was in rehab. she has vocalized a lot of things to me that make it seem like she is learning about her recovery, learning about herself and her addiction. but i am yet to see any actions other than her taking the steps to go to rehab and get into an SL. i need to learn about boundaries and how to set them.