paigemc

Since the beginning of the year our relationship has pretty much deteriorated. His last drinking episode was "the straw that broke the camels back" for me. We have been sleeping separately and don't speak much. At the encouragement of my brother, my AH attended an Al-Anon meeting 2 weeks ago and then again this past friday. He also bought a book titled How Al-Anon Works, but it doesn't look to me like its seen much action. He quit drinking last year but, as it turns out, he only quit as a means of saving our marriage......you all can guess how well that worked out. From May till December there were 2 "slip-ups". Totally expected on my part.

We had a discussion last night about our relationship. As calmly as I possibly could I explained my feelings and also questioned why he was only attending Al-Anon and not AA. His family is riddled with A's, so Al-Anon is something he needs.....but he still doesn't see that he is an A himself so AA isn't a requirement in his eyes. His response was "look at my family, Al-Anon is where I should be".

I have set my boundaries and explained that I do not plan on participating in our marriage until there is real progress on his part. I did that last year and wound up hurt. Lesson learned. He'll either progress or he wont and I'll make my decision to leave when I'm done waiting

I'm wondering what all you wonderfully wise people think. Is Al-Anon at least a small step in the right direction? Or is it just as I see it....One more thing to focus on and blame for his actions?