Thank you, Pelican. I am going to 2 Al Anon meetings a week right now. I am going back to my therapist. And, I have been doing a ton of reading on forgiveness and trust and reading all the Al Anon materials I can. I am currently trying to find a sponsor but the 3 ladies I asked so far have turned me down.
My change is just going to be stuff like: I'm sorry you feel that way and then dropping the conversation as quick as I can or leaving the room, if appropriate. I'm trying very hard to learn new ways of communicating but also I think I need to just leave certain subjects alone because it's pretty clear that he has no desire to quit blaming me for his lies and justifications.