Ok, your AH is using willpower for sobriety/recovery. No counseling, no support group, no assitance whatsoever.
There is a saying in the rooms:
"work the kind of program you wish they were working"
What does your recovery program look like?
From this side of the screen, it looks like the cycle of blame-shifting from the A continues. This results in your continuing to feel crazy.
Since you can't change his behavior, what steps can you take to change your reaction to his behavior?